Food Guilt

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If I had to choose one word to describe how I have felt about my diet over the past few years it would be GUILT. I felt guilty over my food choices and guilty over my portion sizes. I felt guilty that I was just grabbing fast food, and most of all guilty of the way my poor choices were harming my body. I knew my family history of obesity, high blood pressure, and diabetes. But I still chose to eat foods that would make it hard to escape my genetic predispositions. I also have my own health issues to deal with. I have rheumatoid arthritis-an autoimmune disease. Eating a diet of high fat, high meat, low fruits and vegetables did nothing to alleviate the symptoms of this painful disease. In fact, my poor diet probably made my efforts to achieve remission of my disease harder. The foods I was eating on the regular basis were highly inflammatory- the last thing I needed.
I have made small changes over the last few months. I’ve given up red meat and poultry. Even though I’m still adjusting to a pescatarian diet I can say that I feel better giving up some of the inflammatory foods in my diet. I’m not a big seafood person but I am trying to get used to consuming fish on the regular basis for the anti-inflammatory benefit they provide. I am slowly increasing the amounts of fruits and vegetables I consume.
Do I still crave the unhealthy foods that I spent so many years eating? Yes. My mind still sees the unhealthy foods as I was consuming on the regular basis as familiar. When I try to plan my meals burgers, fries, pizza (which I still eat a few times a month) are the first things to come to mind. The fact that you can easily get vegetarian versions of these foods doesn’t make it any easier. But what is helping is that when I eat healthier the guilty feelings are not present. And when I fall off the wagon and decide that a veggie burger and fries is the best I can do for dinner I accept that. I am making healthier choices than I was before. I’m choosing to focus on progress rather than perfection. Lifestyle changes don’t happen overnight but I have a new determination to practice doing things differently. I am changing my relationship with food so that guilt isn’t in the equation-even when I “mess” up.

Goals

 

Believe it or not losing weight is not my main goal. I want to be as healthy as I possibly can.  That involves eating right, exercising, drinking enough water and getting enough rest.  I want to be energetic and engaged with life.   I want to be fit-meaning in the best possible health that I can be.  Right now I need to commit to a lifestyle change that will help me meet these goods.  First things first-what should I be eating nutrition wise?

 

My nutritionist’s goals for me are pretty simple:

 

·         1600 calories total

 

·         160 g carbohydrates (I’m pescatarian so she allows more carbs per day)

 

·         120 g protein (I never meet that goal-I’m trying to do better)

 

·         53 g of fat

 

·         <230 mg sodium

 

·         64 oz water (This one is EASY)

 

The calorie count and water intake is the only thing I can say that I stick to most days.  I know I routinely go over my carb goal and I don’t think I’ve ever met my protein goals.  Fat?  I don’t even bother with trying to keep that to a minimum.  I also haven’t been tracking my sodium intake but since I’ve cut out a lot of fast food I know it is lower than it used to be.

 

 I am going to focus on getting in more protein for now.  My main issue is that even though I eat seafood I am not in love with it (like pizza) and do not care to eat it in the quantities she suggested to meet my protein goals. I eat fish maybe 2 or 3 times a month instead of the 2-3 days a week that was suggested.  I’m seriously considering giving up fish all together and becoming a vegetarian so I’m not looking to increase my seafood consumption.  I’m not how to get the amount of protein she says I for this stage of my health journey.

 

 Protein shakes and my stomach don’t get along at all.  I’ve tried many varieties but I can only tolerate a vegan pea protein shake once or twice a week.  Anything more than that and my body goes into revolt.  I’m thinking of trying tofu but I haven’t yet.  I don’t know. I don’t feel that the pre-packaged faux meat products that I get the majority of my protein from are healthy in the long run. I’m also sure that their sodium content isn’t within my nutrition goals.  I need to do more research.  I know that it is possible to eat a well balanced and health diet without including meat.  I just need to branch out and try new foods and think outside the box.

 

My health is important.  I am reaffirming my commitment put my health and well being into its proper place in my life!